Money Mgmt Skills For Brides

Posts Tagged ‘Paying parent’

Yesterday we discussed how you had everything planned. You and your fiance had talked about the dream wedding down to agreeing up on budget for your wedding. As soon as you let out a sigh of relief knowing that you had dotted all the i’s and crossed all the t’s, enter in the paying parent(s) saying they want to pay for a part of your wedding.

Not only do they want to pay for a part of the wedding, they want to change the venue and add an additional 100 to 200 guests to your wedding. You and your fiance had decided on a wedding that included 150 guests max. When we left the question was how do you handle a paying parent(s) as a daughter in the process of becoming a wife?

Dynamics are already in the process of changing and this must be thought out in detail.  Below are things to consider:

(1) Do you cave to your parents wishes and go over budget! Caution:  Is the message you want to send your fiance “NOW” in the midst of wedding plans that your parent(s) wishes come before his, thereby disregarding what the two of you agreed upon.

(2) Figure out a way to compromise with your parents so that all involved are happy whether that means they get to choose the venue or invite half of their friends and colleagues will be something that should be decided among all involved. Caution:  This message says you are into pleasing everyone which you cannot do. This does not mean for one second you should not compromise. Understand what you are saying yes to and what you are saying no to.

(3) Tell your parent(s) thank you. However, they have raised a budget conscious young woman whose about to become a wife. As you and your fiance have agreed on a budget for the wedding that the two of you can afford. You ask them to understand your choice to stay within your budget that is already established. You do not want to create debt for your wedding nor cause your fiance to think that what you agreed to does not matter once they enter the picture. Ensure they know you love them and appreciate their wanting to contribute. Caution:  There are some parents that might be upset because it will seem as if they are not in control. However, in the long run they should be proud of your financial choices.

Come back tomorrow for Part 3 which will provide recommendations for Parental Financial Help.

Love is in the Air. You are engaged and have begun having talks with your fiance about “Your Dream Wedding.” This is a special time in your life that you have dreamed about for years. Now you are engaged and this is your opportunity for you and your fiance to make that dream a reality.

Let’s face it even before this day, you were looking at Bridal magazines to see waht all the latest styles were. It is important to you to have “The DRESS” that will make a statement, make all those in attendance “ooh and aah”. A wedding dress that no one will forget and talk about for years.  One that when you look back on your wedding pictures, all the memories come flooding and your eyes began to tear because it was such a special day in your life.  It doesn’t matter that you have the dress in the closet.

You are preparing to attend several bridal shows and are quite excited about the memories that are being created even in this process. True enough, the economy has caused brides to evaluate chioces when it comes to the wedding. Take a closer look at venues, caterers, florists, number of guests and soo much more.

You and your fiance have sat down and established a “DOABLE Realistic” budget that you both agree to and are happy about. The “MUST HAVES” are on the list and there are even several items that you have discussed and compromised on. You let out a sigh of relief because you believe you have thought of everything until ……. (DRUM ROLL)…. your parent(s) decide to pay for part of the wedding.

Over the next few weeks the parent(s) go through your guest list, ask you about the venue and want to know all the details of what you have planned for your “Dream Wedding.”  You are politely told the venue you and your fiance have chosen is not going to work because there are an additional 100 to 200 of their closest colleagues and friends that would like to invite. 

Before this discussion, you were all set on venue, number of guests not to mention you and your fiance agreed on a budget believing the two of you were paying for the wedding.  The wedding is months away and several things are set in motion. How do you handle a paying parent(s)? This is crucial because it sets the tone for your parental relationship and your marriage.

Weigh in. Come back tomorrow for part 2. This entire week will be devoted to Parents and a Wedding.