Money Mgmt Skills For Brides

Posts Tagged ‘Parent relationship’

Yesterday we discussed how you had everything planned. You and your fiance had talked about the dream wedding down to agreeing up on budget for your wedding. As soon as you let out a sigh of relief knowing that you had dotted all the i’s and crossed all the t’s, enter in the paying parent(s) saying they want to pay for a part of your wedding.

Not only do they want to pay for a part of the wedding, they want to change the venue and add an additional 100 to 200 guests to your wedding. You and your fiance had decided on a wedding that included 150 guests max. When we left the question was how do you handle a paying parent(s) as a daughter in the process of becoming a wife?

Dynamics are already in the process of changing and this must be thought out in detail.  Below are things to consider:

(1) Do you cave to your parents wishes and go over budget! Caution:  Is the message you want to send your fiance “NOW” in the midst of wedding plans that your parent(s) wishes come before his, thereby disregarding what the two of you agreed upon.

(2) Figure out a way to compromise with your parents so that all involved are happy whether that means they get to choose the venue or invite half of their friends and colleagues will be something that should be decided among all involved. Caution:  This message says you are into pleasing everyone which you cannot do. This does not mean for one second you should not compromise. Understand what you are saying yes to and what you are saying no to.

(3) Tell your parent(s) thank you. However, they have raised a budget conscious young woman whose about to become a wife. As you and your fiance have agreed on a budget for the wedding that the two of you can afford. You ask them to understand your choice to stay within your budget that is already established. You do not want to create debt for your wedding nor cause your fiance to think that what you agreed to does not matter once they enter the picture. Ensure they know you love them and appreciate their wanting to contribute. Caution:  There are some parents that might be upset because it will seem as if they are not in control. However, in the long run they should be proud of your financial choices.

Come back tomorrow for Part 3 which will provide recommendations for Parental Financial Help.