Money Mgmt Skills For Brides

Dear Dr. Taffy,
I enjoyed planning for the wedding day and was so happy to be walking down that aisle to becoming MRS versus Miss. We went on our honeymoon and had a great time. We returned and began our life together as husband and wife. We have been married now for two months and I have discovered that my husband is not telling the truth about his debt. What do I do?
Hidden Debt

Dear Hidden Debt,
Congratulations on your wedding and I want to applaud you for seeking answers about debt because debt in marriage can be a big problem that tears down your relationship. Let me say this, communication is essential in any relationship. Communication about money is also very important for husband and wife. My first question to you is why do you think he is being untruthful about the debt he has? Could it possibly be (1) he was in a previous relationship and shared his finances and was browbeat because of his spending; (2) he did not feel comfortable sharing with you prior to marriage because he thought you would leave him; or (3) is there something you are doing that makes him feel as if he cannot talk to you about debt?
What I have learned is if a person has not told you about their debt and you begin getting financial surprises you can end up in a cycle of debt, frustration and taking things out on each other. Financial stress in a marriage is not a place where you want to be. Remember, money is one of the top reasons for divorce. I congratulate you on choosing to get a handle on this now, early in the marriage. Express to your husband that you want to share with him about your debt. Once you are done ask him to do the same. You can even ask that you both order your credit reports and share them with each other, this way you guys have a clear picture of each other’s finances and what you need to work on. Then begin the cleaning up process together in support of one another.

I wish you financial happiness now and throughout your marriage,
Dr. Taffy