Money Mgmt Skills For Brides

Archive for the ‘Moneymilitary’ Category

For the last couple of weeks, I have been reminded in email from various people that peak wedding season is fast approaching. It is and one thing that remains true is this if brides and grooms do not discuss money before walking down the aisle, when money problems rear its ugly head there are a lot of couples that do not make it.

What are some of the common responses when money problems rear its ugly head? Continue reading:

1) Couples begin the blame game. Saying it is one another’s fault. Fault belongs to both if you chose not to discuss money prior to walking down the aisle.

2) Those same people that were at the wedding who were proud will be some of those same ones whispering that they didn’t think you would make it anyway.

3) There will be another group of people that stand on the side and say its too bad that they could not make it.

4) Silence becomes the norm in the relationship because the stress is so heavy.

5) Once silence sets in you continue being divided about financial issues.

Who will be responsible for your marriage becoming another number in the divorce statistic? If you are reading this and your wedding is days or weeks away, it’s not too late to begin The Money Talk Before The Commitment Walk. Get your copy today. Investing in money communication will be of more value to you than a blender, microwave or some other gift.

I was sitting here this morning and began thinking about what is important to couples. When couples get married, they think about the white picket fence and living happily ever after. They do not plan for those challenges that present along the way. One of the biggest challenges that happen are money issues. Let’s face it, we all know that money is one of the top reasons for divorce.

If you are like me and have read story after story in the media where couples are arguing about money and couples that were going to divorce but are staying together because they could not afford it says that money is an important issue that can and does threaten a marriage. It threatens a marriage because people are not talking about it before walking down the aisle or even afterwards until a situation arise.

Sure you can walk down the aisle knowing that you have some financial issues that have not been disclosed. That choice in itself when the money issues are revealed can threaten your marriage regardless of the length of time of your marriage. Money fights can lead to financial stress and strain, blame game, even going to bed at night mad with each other and we know they can lead to divorce.

What will you choose today? Money fights or Answers on discussing money throughout marriage?? You don’t have to be like the norm. Your marriage and money can work - stand up for yourself and your marriage.

Congratulations you are with the one you love. It is safe to say you have spent a lot of time together getting to know each other. You are engaged and planning the wedding of a life time. I remember exhibiting at bridal shows and all the brides going from booth to booth with family members and friends discussing specific items. It warmed my heart as I thought about these couples preparing to open a new chapter in their life.

As you are beginning this new chapter, I would prefer that you walk down that aisle with insight versus being in the dark. Before I continue, there are some of you that might believe you are prepared and could say “I Do” right now. We are about to find out. Understand this part will be fun but there is a serious side to it. Do not discount what you write. I ask that you be honest as you answer the question.

The purpose of this exercise is to open your eyes in an area that is one of the leading causes of divorce. It is to make you truthfully look at yourself and recognize where you could need some help and be more forthcoming about your financial picture.

If you have 5 or more yes answers then you are an Asset to yourself, will be the same in your marriage and will more than likely not keep financial secrets.

If you have 5 or more no answers then you are a Liability to yourself and will be the same in your marriage if you do not take steps to become a better financially oriented person.

If you have an equal number of yes and no answers, then you are in the middle of the road. You probably would benefit from some additional unbiased guidance to ensure you enter into your marriage with a goal of financial success and not failure.

Take out a sheet of paper and number from 1 to 10. Then write Y or N beside it after you read the question.

Are You An Asset or Liability?

(1) You have talked with your fiancé about your debt? Yes or No

(2) You have always paid your bills on time? Yes or No

(3) You believe that you and your fiancé should have separate accounts once married? Yes or No

(4) You know how to talk about money during engagement? Yes or No

(5) You have managed money well as a young adult? Yes or No

(6) You are a shopper and your fiancé has no idea? Yes or No

(7) If your fiancé lost his job once married, you would stay the course? Yes or No

(8) Would you be willing to share with your fiancé what you are being paid? Yes or No

(9) You would admit to your fiancé if you had a previous bankruptcy? Yes or No

(10) If your fiancé is bringing debt to the marriage, will you still marry him? Yes or No

(11) Do you believe that financial mistakes can be forgiven? Yes or No

(12) Would you keep financial secrets from your fiancé? Yes or No

Did you wind up being an Asset or a Liability? An asset means useful or desirable thing.
When you enter into your marital relationship even in the beginning you should be an asset bringing value. Or did you wind up being a liability which means debt owed. If you are a liability, you can take positive steps to change that for yourself and your relationship.

The above questions are to help you focus on a very important part of marriage. This was an eye opener and know that The Debt CAN Stop At The Altar. This tool can help you even face the reality that you need to begin talking with your fiancé about money even if you find it painful.

Budget has practically been equated to a four letter word. That in itself shows you how the mind works. Today it is time to think of budget in a different aspect when it comes to your marriage. In my opinion, budget is the aspect of setting healthy financial boundaries for yourself and your marriage that cannot be changed based upon what your parents, friends, in-laws, or co-workers are doing.

Budget is based on the reality of your relationship – the shopper and saver, the fact that only you and your future groom know what your income is not everyone outside of the household and your knowing what your monthly expenses are. Many engaged couples are focused on the budget in regards to the wedding. Once the wedding is done, some of them will discard the different financial lessons learned during that process.

I ask you to not discard those different financial lessons whether good or bad but continue to utilize what you learned through that process. More than likely two of the lessons learned would be communication and compromise. The bride and groom communicated with each other about what the budget was, how much they had to spend on different aspects of the wedding. There might be times when a heated discussion took place based on personal preference. What is good about this is that you were talking with each other.

The second lesson was learning how to compromise on various items and not overspending. It is important that you reflect and recognize that you did not HAVE to HAVE a certain item but you were willing to compromise. Understand this, once you are married there will be times when you are spending money that you have to compromise. It’s okay that can be a good thing.

Budget is what you make it. If you think it is a bad thing then it will be. If you find it is a solution to a problem, then it will be a solution.

The financial picture is very significant to every relationship. The idea and plan should be to walk down the aisle already having a financial plan and working it. You do not want to get caught up in the wedding planning and have not thought beyond the wedding day. That is one of my main reasons for recommending you establish a financial foundation for your household first.

After you have established your financial foundation, then the research can begin as to what type of wedding it is that you and your fiancé would like to have within your financial parameters. I would encourage you to keep the lines of communication open with your soon to be groom about the finances but not to the point of overwhelming him or causing him reason for concern. You can share that you have everything under control where you believe both of you will be happy with the result and it will not cause strain on your relationship nor marriage.

Share with him the fun things that you are doing for the two of you that he will be able to appreciate. These warm thoughts will ensure that he has a partner in deed instead of someone that is only marrying him for his money. One of the goals while you are preparing for your wedding is to think about the big picture. What is it you would like to see beyond the wedding day for your marriage and money? With that thought in mind, I encourage you to have fun planning and take it one day at a time.

If you need additional help go to : http://debtatthealtar.com/military-spouse-deployment-and-finances/

March 20, 2009, was the official first day of spring and here in Colorado it was a beautiful, sunny day. I explained to the twins there are different seasons during the year, winter, spring, summer and fall. Of course, they are ready for summer. Who can blame them!

Many people became engaged from November through Valentines Day. They are looking forward to the upcoming bridal season. I have read several stories about the upcoming bridal shows throughout the states. Exciting times ahead without a doubt for those seeking answers and resources that can make their wedding day go smoothly.

Do you realize that no matter what the season is that you are presently walking in your life, money always has a role? Let me explain something because it will impact your marriage. The role of money will be different because people are different. For example the role of money in some people’s lives will be to have lots of money, get more of it and continue to spend it; for someone else it will be simply to pay bills, another person it could be mismanaging money which causes more issues in their life and there will be a group of people that money will be a tool they use to make a difference in the lives of others. There are other examples I could share but did not want to overwhelm you.

If you are still reading at this point, thank you. I want you to take a sheet of paper out and write down what is money’s role in your life? No matter who you are doesn’t matter your race, age or sex – money has a role in everyone’s life each day. Has the role of money been positive or negative? If the role of money has been negative and you want unbiased guidance and solutions, contact me today through email – info@DebtAtTheAltar.com

A couple of days ago I was thinking about statements that people should not say when they are talking about finances. I decided to put together this ebook -
Top 10 Forbidden Statement When Having The Money Talk Throughout Marriage
enjoy.

Top 10 Forbidden StatementsA

The Debt Stops At the Altar is one of the partners of the Diversity Military World Heritage Expo2008’s Kick-off Prayer Breakfast. Listen to the 60 second spot below and join us at the Diversity Military World Heritage Expo. It is right around the corner. dmwe-radio-spot.mp3